<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Picture of Me by PuppetRhymes</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23626516">Picture of Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuppetRhymes/pseuds/PuppetRhymes'>PuppetRhymes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kingdom Hearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Dream Eaters (Kingdom Hearts) - Freeform, M/M, Minor Character Death, introspective, kingdom hearts - Freeform, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:08:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,224</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23626516</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuppetRhymes/pseuds/PuppetRhymes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Are you really sure you don’t have a heart, Roxas?</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Roxas learns what it means to live, and living hurts, even without a body of your own.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Implied Akuroku</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Picture of Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Heyo! When I first started writing this, I was planning to get it finished before the release of KHIII. As you can see, I clearly failed to meet that mark, but I hope you enjoy it all the same. Takes place before the events of KHIII, hence the divergence.<br/>This has been proofread, but not Beta'd, so if you notice any mistakes or have some critiques please let me know, thank you!</p>
<p>Music:<br/>Picture of Me by Quietdrive.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Roxas pauses in front of the looming gates of the Mansion, a tight knot forming in the pit of his stomach. The giant lock that hangs from the gate’s chains is only a momentary inconvenience, and part of Roxas knows what he’s supposed to do even before the deep voice instructs him.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Summoning the odd key-shaped weapon is easy, using it as simple as breathing, though he does feel a little unbalanced by the lack of similar weight in his left hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The moment he steps into the mansion, Roxas feels something </span>
  <em>
    <span>pull</span>
  </em>
  <span> at him. There’s a force he can’t describe, and despite the obvious dilapidation of the mansion there’s an undercurrent of </span>
  <em>
    <span>life</span>
  </em>
  <span> running through the place that doesn’t come from the sharp-edged creatures that appear when he enters.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>No matter how he tries to rationalize it, Roxas can’t quite put his finger on the feeling. Like having a word on the tip of your tongue, or a niggling in the back of your mind that is telling you that you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> even if you can’t recall it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stumbling into what he considers Namine’s room doesn’t make it any easier. The bright white walls and matching furniture are unsettling and cold, even with the offset the colorful drawings provide. Images of people and places he doesn’t know but remembers all the same make his head ache, further fueling his uncertainty as he approaches the pinned drawing of Axel and himself.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He’d seen it the previous day, when Namine had magicked him into the room, but not this close. Though the drawings are little more than filled out stick figures, he easily recognises the pair of them; the two on the left, though, are a little harder to decipher. Probably because he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t remember</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>What he does remember is feeling angry and confused, or at least echoes of those emotions, and of Axel warning him that he can’t leave the Organisation.</span>
  </em>
  <span>)<br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span><br/>
Roxas had come here for answers only to be met with more questions than what he started with. All he’s learned is that the life he had in Twilight Town was nothing but a simulated prison. The memories of his childhood and his friends and his </span>
  <em>
    <span>life</span>
  </em>
  <span> are fake, and the real ones robbed from him. They’re returning slowly, bit by bit, but it’s not enough. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And when he’s forced to fight Axel, Oathkeeper and Oblivion singing in his hands, Roxas knows it’s too late.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Memory or no, Roxas has been pulled too deep into this to escape it now. His hand has been manipulated and forced with promises of telling him everything he yearns to know. And with the half-hearted way Axel fights him, he knows it, too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even without a complete knowledge of their shared past, there’s an ache in Roxas’ chest when he promises to meet Axel in the next life. Seeing the devastation in his best friend’s green eyes as he disappears makes the pain increase tenfold, leaves a pit of regret and longing that stains his soul.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>Are you really sure you don’t have a heart, Roxas?</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Roxas returns to Sora, he’s not quite sure what to expect. Namine had told him he wouldn’t disappear, but still Roxas thinks he’s likely to fade away completely – to lose his entire existence to wake up a boy he doesn’t even know. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He’s surprised to find that his conscience remains completely intact and isolated from Sora’s own, even more so that he’s completely aware of everything that’s happening to and around Sora. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s completely jarring to be viewing the world through the eyes of another. It’s not until Sora is saying goodbye to Hayner, Pence and Olette that Roxas realises just how difficult this arrangement is going to be. As far as Sora knows, the three teenagers are just a trio of friends to-be.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>To Roxas, he feels like he’s saying goodbye to a part of his life. The Nobody’s time in the Simulated Twilight Town might not have been real for anybody else bar him, but with his previous memories still not returned, it’s as if Roxas is saying farewell to everything he knows; Leaving behind three good friends who’ve never known him, not really, turning his back on the place he called home.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The wave of grief that washes over him isn’t entirely foreign, adding to the ache in his chest where his heart should be. It’s all too much, the sadness so all-consuming that it bubbles and overflows into Sora until the Somebody is unknowingly crying his Nobody’s tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the train pulls away from Twilight Town, Roxas begins to understand that he is nothing more than a prisoner locked within his own mind, trapped inside a body that’s not his own.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At first, it’s not completely unbearable. Though Sora’s endless optimism and naivety are bordering on teeth-grating levels, and that stupid duck’s voice is enough for Roxas to wish he could roast it with a Firaga, it’s manageable. When things become too much or too boring for Roxas to bear, the Nobody simply retreats into his returned memories – one of the few things he can still call </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The majority of the happy – if a Nobody could call them that – memories take place upon the Twilight Town Station bell tower. Axel is almost always there, seated on his right and handing him a sea-salt ice cream with bright green eyes and a wolfish grin. To his left there’s always some kind of vaguely human silhouette. No matter how hard he tries, how deep he looks, the figure remains voiceless, faceless, </span>
  <em>
    <span>nameless</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Guilt is not a new sensation for him, but Roxas dislikes it all the same. </span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The appearance of the other members of the Organisation are what draw his attention the most. Though Sora is clueless about the man in the heavy black coats, Roxas can tell them all apart by voice alone. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Each one of them calls Sora ‘Roxas’ when they cross paths with the keyblade wielder, as if the blonde Nobody has any control over the teenage body he’s trapped in. For Sora and company, the use of Roxas’ name only serves to confuse and anger him with the blasé familiarity that’s used. For the boy whose name it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span>, well, each time breaks him a little further.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Could they really think that Roxas would want to cause them great harm? The Organisation is – was – the closest thing to a family that Number XIII has ever known. The person that Roxas became was built upon the experiences he shared with the other members; his once blank personality shaped and influenced by all those that shared the Castle That Never Was with him. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Roxas had mourned the loss of those that perished at Castle Oblivion. Or, at least, mourned as well as one could without a heart. While the uncertain fate of Axel had caused the most concern for Roxas, and his interactions with the lost members short, each of them had left a mark upon his non-existent heart. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The termination of Vexion, Zexion, Lexeaus, Larxene and Marluxia had been Roxas’ first introduction to death. Processing the event had been difficult, having forced him to come to terms with the finality of it all, of not having a chance to say goodbye, of learning to accept that in the eyes of others he is not a </span>
  <em>
    <span>person</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Watching his friends being culled on by one, however, is a different kind of beast. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Every single time a member of Organisation XIII bumps into Sora, Donald and Goofy, Roxas wants to shake them and yell and force them to </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Wants to tell them to </span>
  <em>
    <span>forget</span>
  </em>
  <span> about Kingdom Hearts, that despite what everyone else says, they </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span> be their own person without a heart. Isn’t what they’ve been all along? Isn’t living a Nobody’s existence better than having your entire being torn and ripped and swallowed by the darkness when the Heroes of Light are done with you?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Demyx is the first that Roxas witnesses the fall of. Watching the ninth member of the Organisation fight so hard against Sora and Co’s advance, insisting that the other members </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> have hearts, that all they want is to </span>
  <em>
    <span>belong</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it hurts.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Every cry of </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Dance water, Dance!’</span>
  </em>
  <span> chokes Roxas’ up further, aches because he knows despite Demyx’ outward punkish appearance, the teenager doesn’t have the heart (</span>
  <em>
    <span>ha!</span>
  </em>
  <span>)  for confrontation and violence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Often it was expressed that the Melodious Nocturne was notoriously lazy (a rumour Demyx encouraged), but time and familiarity showed Roxas a different story.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Out of all the members, Demyx appeared to be the odd one out. A gentle, music-loving soul amongst a  group of (supposedly) heartless killers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It suited him, Roxas would think on long torturous nights where he was plagued by nightmares. Tired and bleary-eyed, the blonde would wander into the Grey Room, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders like a cape as he’d drop into the corner of the couch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On those nights, nobody made any smart-ass comments, keeping their thoughts to themselves when Demyx would wear a crooked grin and strum a slow song on his sitar.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And when Demyx fell to his knees, darkness rising to swallow him whole, Roxas wished he could tear his watering eyes from the sight.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But this isn’t his body, and it’s not his heart beating a rapid rhythm in the chest. So he’s forced to watch silently as Sora and Donald and Goofy celebrate (</span>
  <em>
    <span>his loss</span>
  </em>
  <span>) their victory.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It comes as no surprise that it is Xaldin they find at the Beast’s Castle; the man had always had some strange fascination with the place. The collapse of his plan is as equally unsurprising, seeing as Sora has known Beast and Belle longing than Xaldin has been running his scheming interference.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fight he puts up is a powerful one, using his typhoons and lances in perfect synchronisation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not enough, of course - It’s not because Sora is a warrior of the light - bright and solid and </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> while Xaldin, like all the others, was never supposed to exist in the first place.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Xaldin’s passing does not hurt in the same way Demyx’ had, but Roxas has trouble saying goodbye all the same, and the fear of further hurt has him retreating back into his memories for a while thereafter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Seeing Axel fills Roxas with warmth and longing, his limbs for once feeling like his </span>
  <em>
    <span>own</span>
  </em>
  <span> as they fight together, back to back. The cocky banter has him laughing, breathing </span>
  <em>
    <span>life</span>
  </em>
  <span> into Roxas after he’s long since thought he was dead in all the ways it mattered.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Roxas’ muscle memory of this particular dance bleeds into Sora’s movements, a partnered jump, sway and whirl set to the crackle of fire.</span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A bright explosion, followed by a wave of heat he can’t feel, and Roxas’ brief happiness crumbles to pieces around him. The blood pounds in his ears, and the heart he doesn’t have beats a sad tune in his chest as he screams and screams and </span>
  <em>
    <span>screams</span>
  </em>
  <span> at the redhead from within his Sora’s mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Desperately he tries to take control, just this once, so he can talk to Axel just </span>
  <em>
    <span>once more</span>
  </em>
  <span>, to hold him again, to beg and plead and tell Axel everything Roxas had never gotten the chance to say.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But for all of his efforts, the best he manages to do is force tears out of eyes that don’t belong to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, Axel smiles as he regards Sora, looking </span>
  <em>
    <span>past</span>
  </em>
  <span> the brunette as the pain shines in his eyes, and in that moment Roxas knows that Axel can feel him there, just as surely as Roxas can feel the other’s body disintegrating before him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Axel, who had been a near-constant presence since the day Roxas ‘woke up’. Axel, who had taught him about the world and helped shape the person Roxas was. Axel, the feared Assassin of the Organisation who had taken a liking to him, risked everything for him, who had been there for his beginning and his end and it’s at that moment that Roxas realises something important.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Even without a heart, he’d fallen in love.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A keychain in the shape of a silver and red charkram appears where Roxas’ most important person had lain only moments before, and there’s a sharp bitterness on his tongue as he screams upon Sora’s deaf ears, tears pouring down his face because Sora </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t deserve it</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well, he thinks, if this is how much it hurts to have a heart, to be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>Somebody</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Roxas wishes he’d never rejoined Sora in the first place. Surely feeling nothing at all is better than the pain and sorrow, the bitter disappointment and guilt, the constant overwhelming </span>
  <em>
    <span>flood</span>
  </em>
  <span> of emotions that hasn’t stopped since Roxas woke Sora up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>With each passing minute, his resentment grows. As the group of heroes walks into the square before Memory’s Skyscraper, a sudden surge of fury (</span>
  <em>
    <span>and fear, because he recognises this place, this is where his torment began</span>
  </em>
  <span>) gives Roxas strength he hasn’t felt in a long time. Summoning two Samurai with forgotten ease, the blonde manifests himself from a corridor of darkness. Oblivion appears in his hand without a thought, and the ringing of his keyblade meeting Sora’s gives him the chance to draw the brunette into the deeper recesses of his own mind.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Why is Sora the one in control? What exactly does the Somebody have that Roxas doesn’t, if they’re supposed to be two halves of one whole? Why is it Roxas that had to give up his life, his friends, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why did </span>
  <em>
    <span>Axel have to die for him?!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Roxas is livid as he summons Oathkeeper effortlessly, giving Sora no time to orient himself in the Awakening before he is attacking him, his two keyblades singing his rage in his hands, metal screeching as Sora throws his own keyblade up in an attempt to defend from the blonde’s wild and vicious swings.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Blood thrums through his veins, lungs expanding as the adrenalin floods his body and this - </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> is something Roxas </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span> understand. From the moment he was awoken, Roxas has been trained to fight. All along he’s been shaped to be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>weapon</span>
  </em>
  <span>, moulded to be the Organisation’s Key of Destiny.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Each failed hit makes the Nobody even more reckless, fighting with a desperation he hasn’t known since he’d fought an armoured Heartless (</span>
  <em>
    <span>XIV</span>
  </em>
  <span>) on a tessellated plane above Twilight Town. In each pillar of light he unleashes a wave of emotions he isn’t supposed to feel, frustration growing as Sora meets him blow for blow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Who are you?” Sora shouts as they clash once more, neither relenting nor gaining ground. There’s a million things Roxas wants to say in answer, but what he settles for is the one truth he’s always known.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Someone from the dark.” Pushing each other away, Roxas can already guess what Sora will say next. Afterall, he’s been forced to reside in his Somebody’s mind for months, seen his darkest secrets and brightest dreams.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t be Riku?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Roxas nearly scoffs, tightening his grip on his keyblades.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Riku… I defeated a Riku once.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You what?!” The confusion and anger on Sora’s face gives him the smallest taste of satisfaction, but not enough for Roxas to forget that it is </span>
  <em>
    <span>because</span>
  </em>
  <span> of Riku that they are there in the first place.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oblivion and Oathkeeper scream behind him as they drag across the smooth, stained floor, sparks flying as Roxas makes a final charge towards the person who unknowingly gave him life, only to snatch it away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boy who has spent the last months tearing down and taking away anything and everything that made Roxas a </span>
  <em>
    <span>person</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t fair.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They leap into the air, only for Roxas to send Sora flying back to the ground moments later. Roxas takes a second to look down upon the stained-glass design that makes up their battleground; an artistic rendition of Sora and his most beloved comrades.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All of Sora’s friends smile below him, a collection of trusted friends and confidants, a testament to Sora’s easy to love nature and undying loyalty.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I see.” He says, as if he hasn’t known all along that it would be this way. But Roxas can’t give up just yet, not when he’s so </span>
  <em>
    <span>close</span>
  </em>
  <span> and he lunges for Sora once more, smashing Oblivion and Oathkeeper against Sora’s own Kingdom Key in what he knows is a last-ditch effort.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The moment Sora’s knee falls from under him, Roxas nearly collapses himself in relief. The Kingdom Key clatters to the ground nearby, pinned in place by Oathkeeper as Roxas levels Oblivion to Sora’s face. Chest heaving with exertion, whatever triumph he might have experienced is smothered under the weight of his own pain and anger, staring down upon his Somebody who hasn’t accepted defeat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Had he been clear minded, Roxas would have realised that it takes only a second for a Keyblade wielder to summon back their weapon, wouldn’t have left himself so unguarded. The Key of Destiny barely manages to yell in question before he feels the slash across his torso.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shock and exhaustion hit him before he could blink, his body failing him as he stumbled past the other half of himself, the hood of his coat falling around his neck. All fight leaves him as he braces his hands on his knees, lungs searing in pain and lungs gasping for air, muscles long unused now taut and torn, bones fractured and broken just like the rest of him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There’s no anger left, no hatred or resentment, only a careful acceptance of a fate Roxas never could have escaped, no matter how hard he (</span>
  <em>
    <span>or Axel</span>
  </em>
  <span>) tried. All this time, Roxas had been viewing Sora in a biased light, too caught up in his own confusion and self-pity to realise that Sora isn’t the villain in this story. Though his actions are justified, there are reasons that Sora is the Keyblade’s Chosen, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Somebody</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and deep down, Roxas has known it all along.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Roxas is all the dark things that Sora isn’t. He is the pessimism, the unforgiving, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>shadow</span>
  </em>
  <span> of someone so astonishingly bright that the entire world seems to flock around him to bathe in his light. Body failing him, Roxas manages to look over his shoulder and meet Sora’s uncertain blue eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You make a good Other.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not everything is forgiven, nothing is forgotten, but as the light engulfs him, Roxas feels lighter somehow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Look who’s finally awake.” Something rises in his chest as he hears the voice, tearing his eyes open in disbelief.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Axel!” The redhead stands beside him on the edge of the clock tower, staring out across the bleeding sunset sky of Twilight Town.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Or maybe I have it wrong. Might be time to sleep.” Roxas watches him silently, lingering on Axel’s every word, knowing it might be the last he hears of him. “Soon we won’t be able to talk like this anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Does that mean… it’s time for me to go back where I belong?” The question sounds odd on his tongue, sweeping his gaze to the city below. Roxas and Axel both know he means to Sora, though the notion sits oddly on his chest. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>How can he belong if no one knows he is there? How can a Nobody belong in the first place?</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Axel falls to sit beside him, long limbs folding as he rests side-by-side with the blonde. For a brief moment, it’s like they’ve stepped back in time. Back to when the two were three, and the clock tower was a place of budding friendship and momentary freedom instead of a twisted simulation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, I’ve been thinking about something Namine said.” The comment has him returning back to the current reality, peering up at Axel’s thoughtful expression.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Roxas, are you really sure you don’t have a heart? Is it possible that we all have one? You, me, her… Or is that just wishful thinking?” The question so casually asked has caught Roxas off-guard. Of course he’s thought about it - how could he not? It was an all-consuming need for an answer to this question that had led Roxas away from the Organisation in the first place.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And despite it all, despite all he’s learned, all he’s gained, all he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>lost</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Roxas still doesn’t know. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I dunno. I can’t just… look inside.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Even if Axel’s face hadn’t fallen in disappointment, Roxas would have known that wasn’t the response Number VIII was looking for. The blonde shares in his discontentment, dropping his head to the other’s shoulder. He reasons if there was something there, something warm in the hollows of their chests, they’d feel it, wouldn’t they?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sure, they may feel emotions, but is it the same? Are their feelings merely a trick of the mind, a simple reaction fuelled by a memory?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>If that’s true, why does it feel like he’s lying to himself? If he doesn’t have a heart, what was it that caused that awful ache as his life fell apart, what else could it have been that shattered in his chest the moment Axel died?</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Axel hands him a seasalt ice cream, just as he had in the good old days. Just the taste of the frozen treat is enough to take him back, to ease the pain if only for a moment. For a second, nothing else matters but the two of them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their time is running short, their peace as fleeting as the sunset. Their quiet remembrance warms them as much as the gentle sunlight does, Axel resting his cheek upon the crown of Roxas’ head. The clock never moves, but the sands of time run all the same, each grain pulling them apart.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>If only they never had to leave, if this could have lasted forever, if Roxas had just mustered up the courage-</span>
  </em>
  <span>) </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A quick pressure on the top of his head, and Roxas turns his head only to see Axel pulling away. Smiling, he pretends not to notice the water gathering in his most important person’s eyes, willfully ignorant of the tears leaving tracks along his own cheeks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Both of them are fading, their souls being dragged in separate directions-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>And it’s wrong, wrong, wrong, it has to be, because they were never meant to be apart, surely this agony means something-</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Roxas’ tongue feels like lead in his mouth, tangled and tied with a fresh bout of grief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Take care, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Axel must feel just like he does, as he appears to choke down the sorrow before he speaks, a single drop running down his face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Right back at ya, partner.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Roxas that appears beside Namine in the moments before the final fight is merely a shadow of his former self. Now he’s little more than a defeated illusion that’s come to accept his fate; carrying out the last duty to his Somebody before he can finally sleep for good.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The reunion with Namine leaves him unsure how to feel, blinking as he turns to stand beside her and face Sora and Kairi.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s partly her fault, after all, that he’s here, half a person, away from everything he knows, torn apart from Axel-</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stepping forward, he straightens his back and gives a surprised Sora a firm handshake. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Look Sharp!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A nod and he’s stepping away, feeling himself fade as he returns to the darkness from which he was born. Roxas takes his memories with him (</span>
  <em>
    <span>the only thing he has left</span>
  </em>
  <span>) and retreats.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next time Roxas wakes, it’s due to the stirring caused by Sora’s introduction into Deep Diving. Soon, Sora’s heart is buzzing with new activity and life as the Dream Eaters appear, each one lovingly named and crafted, a wide array of brightly coloured creatures ready to assist Sora at any given moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Privately, Roxas wonders how long the animals will remain here, how much time will pass before they, too, are no longer needed by their creator and drift into dreams of their own.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The thought is cynical, and probably not entirely fair to Sora, but it seems they are binded to the reality of the Dreams, and Roxas can’t imagine Sora will spend the rest of his life diving from one Sleep to another.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Loneliness and heartache leave him unwilling to socialise with the Dream Eaters, preferring to wander through the familiar streets of a slumbering World that Never Was. He’s not the only one, he notices, but he can never get a proper look at the second presence that lingers here.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>Glimpses of black hair and a black coat remind him only of seashells, and a nagging sensation that he’s forgotten something important, so very important, but how could he forget if it mattered that much?</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before long, Roxas gains a shadow on his strolls of the paved streets. A Keeba Tiger that Sora has so cleverly named ‘Acoustic’ (</span>
  <em>
    <span>Though why Sora insisted on sticking to a naming theme of music, even Roxas couldn’t unravel</span>
  </em>
  <span>) follows him faithfully, padding silently behind him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s odd how the creature has fixated on him, going so far as to ignore any and all summons by Sora. Though confused, the brunette isn’t too perturbed by the cold shoulder he’s receiving, having only been mildly concerned in the beginning. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Now, Sora doesn’t bother trying to summon the Keeba Tiger at all, constantly rotating his team of Dream Eaters to suit whatever world he’s currently diving into.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At that point, Roxas gives entirely on trying to shake the new tail. After being alone for so long, Roxas finds that he doesn’t quite mind the company the creature gives him. It’s not quite the same comrade he’d experienced during his time at the Organisation, but as Acoustic gives him a gentle nudge, something in his chest warms slightly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not the same, but it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Sora appears at the edge of The World that Never Was, Roxas already knows that his Somebody needs help. The longing that Roxas once felt comes back with a vengeance, and the sadness along with it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>From the beginning he’d never had a chance, not once, it was always going to be this way-</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You deserve to be your own person!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Roxas pauses, a small, sad smile dancing across his face. Hearing his Somebody tell him that </span>
  <em>
    <span>they’re not the same</span>
  </em>
  <span> means more to him than he’ll ever be able to express in words. It’s a sentiment he didn’t know he </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to hear until now, but it comes too late.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soon, there’ll be nothing that’s just </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> and his alone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stepping forward, Roxas is determined in his resolution.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“See? It has to be you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He holds both of Sora’s hands in his own, closing his eyes as his memories flash within his mind - the good, the bad, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>painful</span>
  </em>
  <span>, every single experience that has made him </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> - and pour into a surprised Sora.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It </span>
  <em>
    <span>has to be him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It all began with Sora, and it will end with, too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>After all, how can somebody without a heart ever hope to save a world that’s linked by them?</span>
  </em>
  <span>)<br/>
</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Drained in a way he cannot explain, Roxas begins to retreat further into Sora’s heart. Having to relive the entirety of his short life has left him suddenly directionless, the knowledge that he’s no longer needed weighing heavily in the empty space where his heart should be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Acoustic trails after him despite the Nobody’s numerous protests, the Dream Eater a solid presence as he picks his way through Sora’s heart listlessly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the end, Roxas finds himself at the Dark Meridian, sand crunching beneath his shoes as he approaches the shore. Silently he lays down on the beach, eyes drooping as he stares aimlessly into the dark sky. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rest is all he looks for now, world weary and exhausted as he is. Though he’s done no fighting, his bones ache all the same, the pang in his chest heavier than it’s ever been as his eyes sting with the promise of tears. Acoustic lies beside him, head resting on his paws as he curls around the Nobody almost protectively, seeming to share in his pain.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s so, so tired, and he welcomes the rhythmic lulling of the black waves lapping at the deserted shore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And finally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Roxas sleeps.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lea is </span>
  <em>
    <span>exhausted</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It had been hours since their daily training began, and only </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span> was Master Yen Sid allowing them to take a break. Learning to use a keyblade is far more complicated than he expected, given how easy it had been for him to summon one at the start.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So used to fighting long-range with his chakrams, having to suddenly dive straight into close-quarter combat with fighters with far more experience have left the redhead bruised, frustrated, and flinging fireballs as often as he can, despite the loud protests it garners.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Running a tired hand through his hair, he considers summoning another one as he notices a bounding Sora nearing him. Lea sighs, resting his chin on his palm as he lazily waves a hand in greeting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Close your eyes and open your hand.” Sora blurts before Lea can even open his mouth.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Close my-” Choking on a surprised laugh, Lea sits up straighter. “Close my eyes. And open my hand. How old are you again? Eight?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hands on his hips, Sora huffs and meets his green gaze head on. “Just do it! I promise you’ll thank me for it later.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lea eyes the teenager critically for a moment, before slumping with a heaved breath. Sora is the most stubborn individual he’s ever had the displeasure of meeting. Ignoring him now will only lead to more annoyance later, and Lea’s patience is running thin as it is.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Holding back an eye roll, Lea closes his eyes and holds out a hand as requested, silently vowing to skewer the kid if this turns out to be some kind of prank-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No peeking!” Sora insists as he places the item in Lea’s hand, closing the man’s gloved fingers over the pointed metal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lea hears the boy take a step back before announcing, “Okay, now </span>
  <em>
    <span>try</span>
  </em>
  <span> and summon your keyblade.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>try</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Lea gripes, but summoning the weapon nonetheless. “I’ll have you know-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Whatever witty comment he’d been about to make dies in his throat as he opens his eyes to take in the sight of the checkered, monochrome keyblade he held in his hand. It takes only a moment for the shock to set in, a slight shake to Lea’s hand as he brings the keyblade closer to him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s so enraptured by the appearance of the weapon, he almost doesn’t hear Sora explain where he’d gotten this particular keychain from over the pounding of blood in his ears.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I got it from Roxas,” Sora gives a sad smile as he says it, scratching his cheek with the uncertainty of how his gift has been received. “It was one of the most difficult fights I’ve ever had. If he hadn’t been so angry, he’d have beaten me for sure!” The teenager’s eyes brighten at the recollection, leaning down slightly as he continues. “Those dual keyblades of his sure pack a punch, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Nodding quietly, Lea cracks a small smile of his own, managing a quiet “Thank you,” as he stares misty-eyed at Two Become One.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>